This is my first ever blog, so bare with me. I decided I need somewhere to put everything that's in my head...other than in my head. This seemed to be the best spot for it.
I went to see the movie Easy A tonight. I realized it's a whole lot more like my high school career was than I thought originally. You see, I got ridiculed and tortured and picked on about the same things everyone else did. But I also had a daughter soon after I turned 16. So I got sneered at for that too.
More or less I'm not here to talk about my past, but where I am now because of it. So I'll catch everyone up quickly...
-Up until I was 13, I lived the perfect life. I was grounded all the time and got into kid trouble but it was still the typical child's life.
-Age 13: My dad dies in a car accident. I was a daddy's girl. I was devastated (and still am). My sister leaves for college. Leaving my mom and I alone.
-Age 15: Get pregnant
-Age 16: Have the most beautiful daughter, Kaylee Nicole. Also, get kicked out for the first time.
-Age 17: Get my first job. Get kicked out once again, without Kaylee this time.
-Age 18: Get kicked out for good. Mom steals Kaylee and Champlin cops suck so they say it's fine. Also start stripping.
-Age 20: Quit stripping, get a real job.Mom gets full custody of Kaylee (Judges look down on strippers for mom's). All the while been moving from place to place, sleeping on the streets sometimes, and totaled my car.
-Age 21: Get fired from my real job. Start stripping again.
I know what you're thinking, I'm just some crazy girl who needs discipline and structure. Well I think the same. I've been looking for that for years now. I have been living by my own rules for far too long. It's a whole different world out there at night than what most people know. To be totally honest, I hope no one else ever has to find it out either. I'd never wish that upon my worst enemies.
Not only have I had my crazy outward life, but my personal life, as in relationships, sucks too. It's confusing and I've been hurt too many times to count. People blame things on their parents too often. I really don't think mine had a whole lot to do with my relationship failure. But I do know I wouldn't be where I am today if my dad was still alive and my mom didn't wish I was never born.
At the end of my day today, all I'm really wondering...
Is there really a Prince Charming?? Is that boy really out there?? Are we all fooling ourselves into thinking we'll all be happy one day, if we work hard enough at it??
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